Some would say I’ve had an unfortunate childhood. Parents being divorced and all. I can admit at times it can really bring a girl down - parents fighting over who gets to claim me on their taxes, telling lies about each other, mom blaming dad for the divorce, dad resenting mom. you know, the usual. But to me, growing up meant trying to find the good in the so called “bad” situation.
Clearly they weren’t meant to stay together forever, and the best part about remarriage is you get to see them become the most happy they’ve ever been after going through the worst pain of their life. I would say there’s many positives to step parents - more gifts for holidays and your birthday, more people to cheer you on, more inspiring people to look up to, and best of all - more grandparents.
Ahhh grandparents, the light of our lives. They spoil us, they tell us old stories, they teach us their traditional recipes. Though I haven’t been extremely close with any of my step grandparents, or full grandparents for that matter, besides my mom’s parents of course, I still cherish each one in their own special way. Today I have seven living grandparents-
My mom’s parents, who are both still alive
My step-mother’s mom,
my step-father’s mom
and my dad’s parents, his dad in terrible shape, and his mom, on her death bed.
See, having more grandparents has its upsides, but even worse downsides. We endure more pain, and we endure more loss. A heart-wrenching text I received yesterday didn’t faze me at first, but after giving it more thought over quite a few vodka sours, I realized just what it meant. My grandma has been in rough shape for quite a long time now. Alzheimer’s and Dementia have taken their tole on here for nearly ten years. Its a blessing she’s made it as long as she has. Though I haven’t spent any quality time with her since I was probably nine years old, it still hurts to know I have to say goodbye.
Sure, you may say it doesn’t hurt as bad because we weren’t close, but I’m here to say it hurts just as bad, if not worse. I will never get to bake brownies with her, or play with her old dog. I’ll never get to see her on my wedding day, She’ll never be my children’s great grandmother, and most of all, I’ll never get another chance to build more of a relationship with her. The hardest part of saying goodbye to someone who faded out of your life, is regret. You kill yourself, cry yourself to sleep, and let your mind run around a never ending track thinking “What If.” Though the last time I saw her, she had no idea who I was, who my dad was, or even who she was, it was still comforting know she was still alive, and her soul still on earth.
Everyone knows loss, everyone has endured pain. And I’m sure everyone has felt regret. But I promise you, you will never want to feel the pain of losing your last chance cherish someone
Take the time to get to know someone, and don’t take them for granted.
Every day we live, we get closer to death. And everyday we don’t spend time with each other, we get closer to losing them.
I promise if you don’t take the chance while you can, you’re going to carry that weight around on your heart for a very long time.
There are few things more painful then a heavy heart.